Abby is really sick

This has been probably the most emotionally trying week as a parent so far. Abby’s been sick since last Thursday (her birthday). It started off with liquid pouring out of her eyes and nose and a fever. By Monday, she still had a fever, but the liquid had cleared up enough that we thought she was just about healed. But then on Tuesday, her fever shot up to around 103 and she was lethargic all day, constantly wanting to sleep, same on Wednesday, and since then we’ve just been fighting her crazy high fever and fussiness.

I like to think that I don’t overly freak out where Abby is concerned, health-wise, at least after she had her first fever. But when Jieun took her in to the doctor, the nurse taking her temperature freaked out when she measured 104. I dunno, when a nurse freaks out, I freak out. And she’s been at that nurse-freaking-out-level temperature for days. This constant battle with her fever and the accompanied worry has just been emotionally taxing.

It’s just really hard seeing her suffer, and her not being able to communicate what’s wrong. And the hardest part is the helpless feeling of not really being able to do anything. We do the acetaminophen, we do the ibuprofen, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t, but in the end there’s not a whole lot we can do. It’s in God’s hands. I think I’ve prayed more time-wise over the past week than I have in years. Maybe since the KFBC youth group retreat where they decided to focus on prayer and forced us to pray hours each day.

Our G3 has been stuck on Nehemiah twice a week for a few weeks now, and one message that hits me is how they recommit to the Law in giving the first and best to God. One of their recommitments is in obeying the law to give their first-born to God. I like that, and want to live that way, that Abby belongs to the Lord; we are just stewards, and what God wants for her and does with her is ultimately up to Him. But it’s hard to be totally trusting enough to not worry. I dunno, I think seeing your child suffer is perhaps the worst feeling in the world.