Danny ChaiRandom Boston wrapup notes.
First, for some reason, the strength of the wi-fi connection on my MacBook is stronger when the machine is plugged in than when it’s running off the battery. Since I had to mooch for any faint signal rather than pay the hotel’s exorbitant rate, the effect was noticeable and consistent. Weird.
I’d say I made 4 mistakes in my playing on Saturday. Given the state of my skills, the stuff I played, and the number of songs (6), I think that was OK. I wasn’t that happy with my phrasing, but I just didn’t have enough time to get used to the concert grand I played on.
Going to a wedding where you’re alone and don’t know anyone is really lonely. It’s even worse when you’re not actually single. You have no desire to meet anyone, and no one really to talk to. I was happy to be there and be supportive, and I know his groomsmen well enough, but still, pretty lonely. I was a little surprised that I was the only Baylighter there, but anyway.
So here’s my spiel on Dave. He’s actually the first regular accountability partner I ever had, and I think our accountability went about as well as it can possibly go, not least because our personalities meshed. To touch upon stuff that was mentioned in the toast, I think the three characteristics I most admire about Dave is that he’s honest about who he is, he makes others feel accepted, and he makes others feel comfortable.
This kind of gets into a life philosophy of mine. If people got inside my head, I think they’d be surprised about how deliberate I am about almost everything I do. There’s almost always a reason behind all my actions, even when it seems haphazard or lazy. And that especially goes for how I present myself. And my overarching philosophy that dominates how I interact with people is: don’t be intimidating. In how I dress, talk, drive, whatever, that’s my primary motivation. It’s not the only one; like I’m cheap and not a little lazy, and that influences things. But the not being intimidating thing is huge for me.
I’m not exactly sure why that is. Probably because I know how crappy it feels when someone exudes an air of superiority. It’s partly an outreach thing also, I think. I just know, when you go into a group, and you feel like everyone is cooler than you, or if for whatever reason you’re intimidated by them, there’s virtually no chance you’ll come back. The less intimidating people in the group are, the more comfortable you feel and the more likely you are to return. So yeah, if I were to err on either side, I would much rather have people I talk to feel superior to me than inferior.
So like with clothes. As I’ve mentioned before, Henry inexplicably subscribes me to Esquire, and through the years I think just by osmosis I’ve learned a thing or two about men’s fashion, not that you could tell by how I dress. But at least part of that is deliberate – I intentionally mix in the dorky engineer look into my wardrobe, with the job-fair/company T-shirts, jeans, and nondescript sneakers, in an attempt to be non-intimidating. Maybe that’s weird, but that’s my thinking.
This relates to Dave in that I think he does really well in making people feel comfortable, in large part through the other characteristics I listed, and that’s something I aspire to. But as Andy said, he’s real about who he is, and doesn’t pretend to be anything he isn’t. And he’s really accepting. Doesn’t matter how dorky or how cool you are. And that’s a great quality in a friend. Those exact same qualities, I think, will serve him well in his new role as a husband.
Friday I slept in after my red-eye and freezing trip on the T / walk to the hotel in the rain. Then rehearsal and 10 course Chinese rehearsal dinner. Saturday was the wedding, then long reception (food was excellent, incidentally, which is rare as far as reception food goes), then yet another late dinner for people who helped out.
Sunday I got a random call from Dave Ch0i. Apparently Charles had read my blog and saw I was in Boston and told Dave and Dave called up my hotel. After making brief trips to Fenway and Faneuil Hall, I dragged Randy and Chris to meet them. I was actually really happy that they called and that we got to meet up. I had briefly thought ahead of time it would be nice to see Dave, Charles, and/or Young, basically the only guys I know in Boston, but thought I wouldn’t have time/transportation, so didn’t bother trying to meet. That we got to catch up, even a little, was nice.
I lingered a bit too long and barely caught my flight back, with ride assistance from Dave. I also have to say I love JetBlue. Love. Just, the TV and XM Radio makes the flight go by much quicker (although it’s random they don’t have ABC. 4 channels of ESPN, but no ABC). Wong would appreciate the XML Radio, I think. It has music from different decades, even old-time radio. Good times.
And that was my weekend. Twice as boring as henryhsu.com at half the price.