Language Issues

The most stressful moments of the trip were, predictably, language issues. Surprisingly, driving really wasn’t that bad. As I said, everyone’s more mindful of traffic laws / signs / lanes now, and the GPS devices are amazing. The only real difference with the U.S. is that aggressive driving is safer there, because that’s what everyone expects. Pedestrians are surprised when you wait for them to cross. And you’re liable to get hit by the car behind you, because they don’t expect it either. Just drive aggressively, and everything’s cool.

But yeah, language issues. Especially when I had to get food or shop for other things for the family on my own. I couldn’t understand the clerks and they couldn’t understand me. Stress. Especially when I didn’t understand the customs either. Like, I once went out to get jjajjangmyun takeout. I had to wait for our order, but the guy wouldn’t let me sit down at a table. So I had no clue what to do. I kind of stood around, wandering among the tables, pretending to read a poster for 15 minutes. Awkward.

I only really got grief once, from the sooyi ahjushee at the apartment we were staying at. He asked why my Korean is so bad, and I explained that I was born in America. He countered by saying that he was born in Japan, and he still speaks Korean. I lied to him that and said that I had no Korean friends in America, so no one to speak with. He then went on an extended diatribe about how he spoke Japanese but spoke Korean when he got together with other Koreans, and how Koreans in the U.S, Japan, England, Brazil, etc. need to speak Korean.

I’ve explained why I don’t speak Korean before, and Dave seems to get annoyed by it whenever I say, but whatever, I’ll say it again. It’s not like his blog is full of original thoughts.

My dad always told us that speaking English to us was an intentional choice. He believed that if he spoke Korean to us, we’d grow up speaking Korean, but we wouldn’t be able to talk deeply and freely with him or my mom. So he decided to sacrifice our Korean speaking ability in favor of a better relationship with them.

A lot of people I know question his premise, that speaking Korean necessarily means a less open relationship. It’s not necessarily true, but I do think it’s generally true. It’s rare the family where kids speak to their parents in Korean and they are able to have deep talks. Not unheard of, but rare. Regardless, it kind of worked for our family. My friends are frequently surprised at how we talk, for example, how we discuss issues at the dinner table. They find that odd.

Anyway, that’s the story my dad always told. Thing is, I’m not totally sure it’s true. The flip side is, I only spoke Korean until I was maybe 3 or 4 (hard to believe, but true). My parents enrolled me in preschool, and I couldn’t communicate with any of the other kids, so I would sit off by myself the entire time. Apparently the teachers told my mom that they needed to start speaking English to me. And that’s when they started.

Which is the real reason? Maybe a bit of both. Regardless, I suck at Korean and although a part of me wants to learn it, I don’t want to enough to actually do it. Weighing the cost/benefit, there are other things I’d rather do with my time. Oh well.

That said, my Korean did improve from nearly non-existent to merely extremely poor. Especially reading. Abby got a couple Korean children’s books from the library last week and I’ve been able to read them at night, at which she expresses (in surprise) “You can read Korean! How did you learn to read Korean?”