Danny ChaiNewsweek had an interesting article last week on happiness. As you may or may not know, I think about happiness all the time; I find it philosophically, psychologically and theologically fascinating, even crucial to the human experience.
That said, the article pointed out something I agree with – sometimes we overemphasize happiness too much, to the point where any time someone not happy, it’s viewed as a clinical problem. And that’s wrong. Sometimes, sadness or other negative emotions are an entirely appropriate response. When you’ve been married to someone for decades, and your spouse dies, it’s right to feel sorrow, even symptoms of clinical depression. It’s not wrong to feel that way, it’s right.
I remember reading about in old times, when someone died they would have a long period of grieving, lasting even a year. I’m not sure that length of time is always necessary, but I like the approach. Instead of trying to get people over sadness as quickly as possible with diversions, medications, or whatever, as we seem to do nowadays, let people have their appropriate period of sadness.
I was also thinking about this during Sunday’s sermon, which centered on John 11:35 – “Jesus wept”. On the first Vineyard Winds of Worship CD, there are a couple great tracks where the worship leader is just talking, and saying some funny (maybe I’m evil for thinking it’s funny, but I do) stuff. I’ve already mentioned the spaceship-sounding e-bow “each note represents the healing touch of God” thing. There’s also a great line where the leader says it’s getting late and he understands if people need to go, but if they do go, “go blessed!” I can’t quite explain why that’s funny, you have to hear the delivery. Vineyard worship leaders. They crack me up.
Anyway, there’s also one line where the worship leader, clearly being defensive to criticisms of Vineyard, says something like, “it’s not emotionalism; it’s emotions! Which *God* gave to us!” It’s funny because of the defensiveness, which makes him sound kind of childish (defensiveness always does); however, I agree with him. John 11:35 is but one example of many in Scripture where God/Jesus demonstrates emotions that we commonly think of as negative: sorrow, consternation, anger, jealousy. I think God gave us these emotions, and that sometimes, they’re appropriate to have.
If they get out of hand and they aren’t just temporary, situational things, that’s another story, and it’s something we need to heal. But in general, I don’t think negative emotions are necessarily problems to be fixed. If they are appropriate responses to something, it makes more sense to let them run their course than just to try and get rid of them.
Rambling SN: I have a lot of compassion for people who suffer from chronic physical pain. There’s definitely a link between physical pain and depression. Like, one thing I don’t think gets enough attention with Kurt Cobain was his physical pain. He’s frequently described as a troubled soul mentally and emotionally. But the thing that tortured him for most of his life was chronic, extreme stomach pain. It probably contributed to his heroin use and caused his depression. Does that mean there was something mentally wrong with him? If I had his pain, I’d probably be depressed also.
Obviously, I believe Jesus offers healing and hope and can give happiness in the midst of pain, but as far as I’m concerned, it’s supernatural. I think the rational response to chronic pain, especially for a non-Christian, is depression. People who live with such pain get much respect from me, regardless of their emotional state, because it cannot be easy.