When Were Jesus’ Disciples Saved?

Last week’s sermon was really thought-provoking, at least for me. It was based on a simple question: when were Jesus’ disciples saved?

The preacher discussed how it’s an interesting question because most evangelicals would probably say that salvation involves both a changed life and the right belief, and furthermore, that there’s an instant when this occurs. St. Paul experiences this with his dramatic conversion on the road to Damascus. But if you think about it, the other Apostles don’t fit this pattern. He mentioned Peter and Andrew – they have a changed life the moment Jesus calls them. But when do they get right belief? It takes a while before Peter declares that Jesus is the Son of God. And even after that, he rebukes Jesus when he talks about having to die and rise again. Even after years with him, near the end of his earthly ministry, Peter didn’t fully grasp Jesus’ mission; he didn’t have the “right beliefs” about Jesus. So when was he saved?

It’s either a really troubling question or a really freeing one. For me, it’s really freeing, because it suggests that salvation doesn’t necessarily break down neatly into a moment, that perhaps it’s a process. And that’s encouraging because it fits my experience.

I love my Baptist upbringing, but if it had one shortcoming, it’s that I think we reduced everything too much into formulas. We learned the 4 Spiritual Laws. We went through Evangelism Explosion. We went through Discipleship Training. The whole Christian life was broken down to a formulaic process. And on the evangelism side, much of it was geared towards getting people to that singular moment of salvation. The sinner’s prayer, or whatever you call it.

I don’t mean to knock it that much. These things existed because they worked for their time and place, and I think they bore much fruit. But no formula fully captures the Gospel, and each has its shortcomings.

The problem for me was that the singularity idea made me question for a long time whether I was a Christian. My problem was opposite that of the Apostles: I was pretty sure I had right belief, but I couldn’t point to a singular time when my life changed. And because there was so much emphasis on the singularity, it really bothered me. I many times contemplated doing an altar call just to have that moment, but it didn’t make sense as it would have rendered what I perceived to be a genuine Christian life before it counterfeit, and I could not reconcile that. At youth retreats, we frequently had “rededications”, I think partly to address this, but intellectually, it’s a cop-out, and it doesn’t solve the fundamental problem, which is maybe why people rededicated themselves multiple times. But it felt like there was a strong emphasis on having a moment to hold on to.

I think the Gospel, and even salvation, is messier than a formula. And that encourages me. The older I get, the less certain I become about certainty. And while a messy Gospel is more confusing, to me, it rings more true to life experience. Maybe it’s not necessary, maybe sometimes not even possible, to know exactly when you become saved.

Another recent sermon pointed out something I’ve been thinking about a lot as well. It mentioned how when you look at how Jesus talks, he asks a ton of questions. It’s completely changed how I read the Gospels, and it’s totally true. Not that Jesus doesn’t flat out preach at times. But there are many key moments where you would think it makes more sense for him to just talk, but instead he asks questions. And he injects questions into conversation in random places. (“Why do you call me good?”)

I find that fascinating, and again, freeing. Just to know that it’s not necessary to always have the answers, not necessary to always give even the answers I do have, and that there’s a place for my natural, question-driven conversation style when interacting in the world. And, to go along with the above, that the point isn’t always to get at that singular moment, but to deflect people along the way.

Interesting to no one but me. But yeah, that question, when were the disciples saved, is something I’ve been chewing on. Fascinating implications.